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I’d always come back to the same conclusion: Why bother being on all these dating apps if they were never actually getting me dates?

‘First’ Dating App Forces You To Go On Dates With Matches

Even when I was single, I was never really big on dating apps.

My main issue with them was that I felt like I’d swipe on a bunch of people, but then, I’d never actually make the move to go on a real date from there.

Even if I did make it far enough with someone to actually schedule a date, odds are, I was bailing on it at the last minute.

I’d always come back to the same conclusion: Why bother being on all these dating apps if they were never actually getting me dates?

Well, a new dating app called First takes things to a whole new level by cutting the BS and literally forcingВ you to get up and go on a date.

Rather than matching with someone, only to be stuck with a seemingly endless string of small talk (that will most likely result in nothing), First skips the whole prerequisite small-talk portion and goesВ right to the date.

How does it work?

Setting up your profile on the app couldn’t be any easier. Like most other apps, you sync it to your Facebook profile, and boom, you’re done.

From there, you can either post your very own date idea and time or scroll through date ideas and times other people have posted.

If you’re the one who posted the date idea, you can now sit back, relax, and enjoy the show, as interested people of your preferred gender in your area submit to join you. Once you see someone you’re also interested in, you accept their submission, and the two of you just show up for the date. NO STUPID BANTER ALLOWED.

No, seriously. even if you wanted to chat with them, the app doesn’t give you the option.

On the flip side, if you’re the person submitting for dates you’re interested in, you can submit your interest up to four hours before the actual date is supposed to take place. From there, you too, can sit back, relax, and wait until someone accepts you to join them.

Then, once again, the two of you have no choice but to show up at the specific place at the set time.

Again, YOUR STUPID BANTER CAN GTFO OF HERE.

Now, what if something comes up and you have to bail? Well, you’re kind of just screwed.

Bailing on a First date for any reason will have you marked as a no-show on the app. This is kind of a big deal since the app has a pretty strict “No Flakes” policy, which bans users after they acquire two no-shows.

In an attempt to weed out people who “aren’t right for the app,” the app’s creator, 25-year-old Truman Kain, also lets users rate their dates once they’re over.

Your date rating won’t show up on your profile, but a few successful dates will result in a glowing check mark on your profile that “verifies” you as a good date.

KainВ told Mashable that his hope with the app is to eliminate the inefficient process of speaking to someone for weeks, only to find out you have no chemistry in person. With First, you find out whether or not you have chemistry right off the bat. Then, you go from there.

Obviously, the thought of meeting up with a stranger you’ve never spoken to before to do a random activity isn’t appealing to a lot of millennials.

But for people like myself who prefer in-person interactions to stupid banter that leads nowhere, this is pretty ideal.

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“Jack, sweetheart, what a surprise finding you here.” Heather’s wispy tone was born of practice and not sincerity.

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“This one’s for the ball,” Mike said, slurping down his tequila shot. “And this one’s for the chain.” He chased it with his beer. “Your turn.”

Jack sat back as Mike pushed Dean to another round. Dean, the bachelor of the weekend, was well beyond three sheets but kept drinking anyway.

“W-what time is it?” Dean asked.

“You’re not allowed to ask until Sunday,” Tom reminded him.

“It’s not Sunday?” Dean’s gaze followed a cocktail waitress wearing a skintight miniskirt.

Jack, Tom, and Mike busted out laughing. “Damn, Moore, we might need to stay in your fine establishment for an entire week to work the bachelor out of this groom.”

Jack Morrison’s friends always called him Moore: more money, more women, and more time to do whatever he wanted due to his family’s portfolio. His buddies at the table had known him since high school. If they ever wanted to stay at the Morrison Hotel and Casino on the Vegas strip for a week or a month or however long, for that matter, Jack would make it happen. They all held executive positions or owned their own businesses, making it nearly impossible for them to get together as it was. The weekend bachelor party would have to do.

Jack had insisted they drive instead of jet over the California desert. With Dean walking the plank—or aisle, as it were—they wouldn’t have this golden opportunity again. Dean was the first of the four of them to get married, making this their last trip together as single men. The last time one of them didn’t need to rush home to a wife or kids. The last time they could all get pissing drunk and not have to explain themselves to a woman. One last bash, complete with Vegas and a road trip…what could be better? Once Dean said “I do,” it was all going to change. Deep inside Jack knew this…was ready for it. Life was a series of chapters, and this one would end in style if he had any say in the matter.

“Oh man, is that Heather?” Tom nudged Jack’s arm and nodded toward the casino floor.

Jack followed Tom’s gaze as it landed on the back of a woman he knew all too well. She had her platinum blonde hair piled high on her head; her shoulders were bare except for the spaghetti straps of the slim-fitting dress that hugged every surgically enhanced curve of her body. Just when Jack thought he could turn away without her noticing him, she shifted a glance over her shoulder and offered a painted-on smile.

“Well, hell, how did she know we’d be here?” If there was one woman Jack never wished to see again, it was probably Heather. As she swayed her h*ps while walking in his direction, Jack knew he wasn’t going to get his wish.

“She probably heard through the grapevine it was Dean’s bachelor party. And you do own the hotel, so where else would the party be,” Tom reminded him.

“Jack, sweetheart, what a surprise finding you here.” Heather’s wispy tone was born of practice and not sincerity.

Unable to avoid her, Jack stood as she approached. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. He quickly stood back and motioned toward his friends. “You remember Tom, Mike, and Dean?”

“Of course.” She offered them the fakest of smiles, her eyes narrowing on Dean momentarily before moving back to Jack.

“What brings you to Vegas?” Jack asked, as if he didn’t know.

“You told me this was one of your nicer hotels. I thought it was past time for me to spend time in it.”

“My father owns the casinos, Heather, not me.” All Heather saw was money. Didn’t matter where it came from so long as she could access it.

She waved a hand in the air. “You’re splitting straws again, Jack.”

“Hairs. Splitting hairs.”

She placed her fingers on his arm and squeezed. “You know how I dislike being corrected,” she reminded him.

You know how I hated you always showing up where I didn’t want you. And that was when they were dating. Jack had broken up with her midsummer.

It was now November.

She leaned in and whispered in his ear. “Can we find a moment alone?”

He loosened his tie and tilted his Stetson back on his head. “We’re in the middle of a bachelor party, Heather.”

Dean tossed back another tequila and sucked on a lime.

“Won’t take but a minute, darling.”

It hurts to smile when you’re gritting your teeth. Jack forced his jaw to unclench at her syrupy endearments. He remembered the day he put a halt to their brief affair. They were attending a fundraiser at the club in Houston and Jack noticed a beautiful brunette across the room eyeing him. Heather had scolded him with her breathy voice. “Jack, dear, please try and keep your eyes on me when we’re together. I don’t care what you do or who you might play with once we’re married, but to be so obvious when we’re standing next to each other, it’s simply boorish, don’t you think, darling?”

Where Heather cooked up the idea she would ever be Mrs. Jack Morrison, he’d never know, but it was then Jack realized how superficial his arm candy was. In a way, he felt sorry for her.

“Well?” Heather pulled him into the present with her question.

Jack knew exactly how to get rid of her, for the last time.

He nodded toward Tom. “Out front in ten?”

Tom grinned. “We’ll walk this one around, sober him up a little.”

Mike helped Dean to his feet while Jack motioned Heather toward the door.

The two of them wiggled around the people hovering at the slot machines. Someone at a craps table yelled out and the crowd around him cheered. An older woman leaned back in her chair as Heather walked by and brushed against her. Heather scowled and muttered something ugly under her breath.

Heather tilted her jaw higher, said nothing, and walked away.

The older woman looked genuinely sorry but at a loss for words.

Embarrassed, Jack took Heather by her arm and led her outside under the bright lights of the valet parking lot. The valet noticed him and snapped to attention. Before the valet moved a foot, Jack waved him off.

“So what are you really doing here, Heather?”

She angled her head to the side and painted on a smile. “I don’t like where we’ve been lately, Jack. I miss you.”

Jack held his ground when she moved forward. “There isn’t a we any longer. I thought I made myself clear.”

“I’ve given you a break. Now I want the break to be over.” She slid her hand over his chest.

He stopped her by holding on to her wrist.

“I didn’t ask for a break. I said we were over. We don’t want the same things.” He didn’t want a trophy wife, and that was all Heather could offer.

The edges of her lips fell into a pout. “We know the same people, play in the same circles. We’re perfect for each other.”

“No, we’re not. I want someone to be with me for more than my wallet. We both know that woman isn’t you.” Jack noticed the diamond-studded bracelet hanging off her wrist. They had been dating during her last birthday and Jack had given it to her. He regretted the gift now.

Heather’s fake pout faded and a spark of anger flashed in her eyes. “Every woman with you is going to be there for the money, Jack. I just happened to be honest about it.”

Her words stung, probably because they held some truth. It was hard to look past his father’s billions and Jack’s own millions. Still, the blonde in front of him had just made it clear she didn’t care about him at all. Jack drew the line there.

He waved to the senior valet, who quickly ran over.

“Yes, Mr. Morrison?”

“Can you bring my car around?”

The valet glanced at Heather, then back at Jack. “A hotel car, sir?”

“No, my car. The one I arrived in.”

“Yes, sir. Right away, sir.”

Heather smiled up at him, probably assuming she’d won something.

“Is there somewhere I can have my driver take you?” Jack asked. “Or are you staying here?”

“I have a suite at the Bellagio. But I don’t mind a move.” Another sickening smile lifted her lips.

Jack’s friends made their way out of the casino through the heavy glass doors.

“The Bellagio is perfect for you. I suggest you enjoy your time there.”

Her facade fell and anger straightened her jaw. “You’ll regret this someday, Jack. You’re going to marry some woman thinking she loves you and in the end be brokenhearted because she wants your trust fund.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his ride pull up. He walked to his twin cab, a well-past-its-prime pickup, dirty from the long drive, and opened the door.

“What is that?” she barked and stepped away as if the truck was a snake about to strike.

Finally, a real smile lifted Jack’s lips. The look of absolute horror on Heather’s face was worth her annoying presence. “It’s your ride to the Bellagio.”

“I’m not getting in that thing. What did you do, drive it from Texas?”

Actually, he’d had it shipped to California for his latest business venture, and that’s when he and the boys had decided to drive it to Vegas. “Something like that. C’mon, get in.”

“I will do no such thing.”

“Suit yourself.” Jack opened the door wide and waved his friends in. “C’mon, boys. We have a bachelor to send off.” Jack turned to the kid who had jockeyed the truck around. “What’s your name, buddy?”

“Russell, sir. I’m new here.” The kid was maybe twenty-four.

“You know your way around Vegas, right?”

“Lived here all my life.”

Jack patted him on the back while Mike helped Dean into the backseat. Tom loaded in behind them. “Well, Russell, my friends and I need a driver tonight. We have some serious drinking to do and could use someone sober with us. You game?”

“And I’m paying you.” Jack waved the head valet over. “It’s Carrington, right?” he asked the senior valet.

“Carrington, Russell is going to help us out for a few hours. I hope that’s OK.”

“Of course, Mr. Morrison. Whatever you want.”

Jack winked at the man and turned toward the truck. When he lifted his foot into the cab, Heather called out.

Jack spared her a glance. “I offered you my ride, darlin’. Maybe a Vegas cabbie would suit you better. Carrington, would you mind finding Miss Heather a ride?”

Carrington shifted his eyes from Heather to Jack a few times and then lifted his hand for one of the many cabs waiting in line to take guests to their next destination.

Heather lifted her arms over her shoulders. “Jack!” she yelled as he shut the door.

He tilted his hat as a good-bye while Russell shifted the truck in gear.

“Jack Morrison!” Jack could still hear her screaming as they pulled away.

“Ho boy, that is one ticked-off woman,” Tom said, looking over his shoulder. “I don’t know what you ever saw in her.”

“She was a mistake.” A huge one. Jack was thankful his heart never got involved.

“Jack Morrison. Hey, you wouldn’t happen to be related to Gaylord Morrison, the owner of the hotel, would you?” Russell asked as he pulled out onto the strip.

Dean, Mike, and Tom started laughing.

“Did I say something funny?”

Jack buckled his belt and sat back. “That would be my dad.”

“Overdue…overdue…oh great, a shut-off notice.” Jessica Mann placed the highlighted water bill on the top of her pile with a grunt. Looking around the tiny break room of the twenty-four-hour diner she worked in proved just as bleak a view as her future. She really did need to make some changes in her life, and soon.

Leanne, the other graveyard shift waitress who worked with her, poked her head through the door and said, “You’re up. A party of four just sat on twelve.”

Jessie glanced at her watch and saw that it was twenty minutes past two in the morning. The after-bar crowd would soon start strolling in for black coffee and a place to sober up before their trek back home. Like clockwork, Sunday mornings were the worst. The truly stupid actually thought they could grab a cup of joe and still manage to make it to work on time. After tucking her bills into her purse, Jessie stepped out of the break room, through the short hall separating the kitchens from the service counter, and proceeded to table twelve. With any luck, one of the four people in the party would be sober enough to remember to tip her before they left.

Hearty male laughter met her ears before she rounded the corner to greet her customers.

Two faces peeked over open menus while the other two caught her gaze as she approached.

“Whew, hey, darlin’. Are you our waitress tonight?” a dishwater blond sitting on the end of the booth asked. With his question, the other men at the table lowered their menus to look at her.

A quick assessment told Jessie that the yahoos at the table were definitely coming off a night of drinking. Maybe even a couple nights from the state of their five o’clock shadows.

Dishwater flashed his white teeth and a little-boy smile. The man to his left elbowed him in his side. “Pay no attention to Dean. He hasn’t been sober for three days.”

“You’re one to talk, Mikey.” These words came from a robust man wearing a baseball cap and at least two days of stubble on his chin.

“Jack is the only one remotely sober,” Mikey said.

Yep, definitely a party crowd.

The one they called Jack took his time lowering his menu before acknowledging Jessie. His dark brown hair, topped with a Stetson, tilted as he moved his head. The stubble on his chin held the perfect amount of sexy. The slow, steady soaking in of his stare settled on her from the most unusual gray eyes Jessie had ever seen. Those smoky eyes took their ever-lovin’ time as his gaze slid over her hair, her face. After looking his fill, he caught her eyes again and held them. As if calculated for effect, Jack allowed a slow and delicious smile, complete with dimples, to spread over his face. A smile meant only for her.

Smiles like that should come with a warning label. His staunch attention did a number on her belly and raised gooseflesh on her bare arms. She swallowed hard, and her skin tingled as if he’d caressed her.

Jessie blinked a few times, broke eye contact, and asked, “How about some coffee?”

“That would be great,” Jack replied with an accent that matched his cowboy hat.

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Fast forward to 2014. I am now a mother of a 12 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. Last week the 12 year old asked when she can start dating. I was shocked that she would even think about the concept of dating at such a young age. My husband and I have been discussing the answer to our daughter’s question and we just don’t know the right answer. I don’t want to be overly protective and strict like my parents were but I also don’t want to be too permissive. By the way, my husband was a late bloomer and started dating at 19.

A Confused Mother

I completely understand why you are confused. First, the definition of dating is different these days than it was when you and your husband were younger. In the past, a young man, usually a teenage boy, would come to a teenage girl’s house and take her on an actual date which might include something like a movie AND a curfew. The definition of dating has changed these days. Middle schoolers sometimes say they are dating when actually all they are doing is texting or even communicating via Facebook or in some other electronic manner. Teens in high school may define dating as being exclusive with each other physically which means that they don’t “hook-up” with anyone else. Yet other teens do go on dates with each other that are somewhat more formal where one member of the couple picks up the other one in a car for an afternoon or evening together that has been pre-planned.

The first order of business with your kids should be to ask them to define what they mean by dating. If they are referring to actually spending time alone with their date then I have to say that around the age of 16 seems to be the magic number. And, you must make it clear what your rules and expectations are other than age. You and your husband need to address the following:

2. Issues Around Sexuality

3. Whether or Not They Are Permitted to Drive With The Date

4. Making Good Choices

5. Use of Alcohol & Drugs on Dates

6. Not Forgetting to Maintain Friendships While Dating

7. Keeping You Informed About Their Whereabouts & Changes in Plans

Having said all of the above I must tell you that I think that dating serves a very important purpose. Teens learn to negotiate their feelings and relationships while they are still young and under your roof. As we all know, relationships and healthy dating take a lot of practice and trial and error. Make sure to act interested but not too interested in your teen’s dating life with the hope that they will open up to you if they run into difficulties. Good luck with this tricky but important issue.

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Children have no business dating let alone being in any sort of “serious” relationship when in school.

Televised media helped to promote this idea that kids are supposed to have boyfriend/girlfriends and are supposed to be dating. Total lunacy.
Naturally as kids view movies, shows, read books and all they will think that this is the “norm” and it is up to the parents to tell them that when in school, they have no business dating. Friends are marginally ok but not romance of any sort. Period.

What is your main concern? I’m very interested in hearing your thoughts!

It depends like if they actually fall in love or not the best way is to fall in love not do just because everyone else is but yeah they should focus on school.

Honestly, I completely disagree. Naturally, teenagers get more romantic feelings for people. I believe that dating as teenager can be healthy. Middle school and high school are the times where teens can experiment with relationships. If they don’t experiment, they won’t know how a relationship works in the real world. They may have more trouble expressing their feelings. They may not know how or where to set boundaries. I believe that kids should be able to start “dating” at ages 13 or 14, if they want to. At a young age, it can also be important for parents to meet the person their child wants to date. If teens are 16 and dating, they should be able to drive and pick up their dates.

It is not so much a concern as it is that this idea of kids dating as has been perpetuated via media. Practically every show out there aimed at kids shows characters either dating, being in romantic relationships or the like. Wherever people got the notion that kids should be dating while in school simply baffles me.

If a kid cannot figure how to handle their “feelings” with their friends then they certainly will not gain anything with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

. the woman who wrote the letter needs to stop thinking in terms of “late” bloomers especially when she mentioned her husband and dating. It sounds borderline dismissive and condescending.
There are plenty of people who didn’t date until they were in their late twenties or thirties.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to not make your parents upset and nothing wrong with focusing on school either.

My mom said not until you’re done with school. My brother dropped out of school, I left my family. loved school too much, went until I was 27.

I think that for dating where one person is picking the other up, 16 is obvious because that is the driving age. But my personal opinion is that if they want to go to a movie or other activity together, and a parent will drop them off and pick them up from that activity, I think 13 or 14 is perfectly Ok. I’d focus on curfew, I’d limit activities for a 13 year old to 9pm, but might let a 17 yr old stay out until 11 or 12, depending on the individual.

I am a mother of two kids one is 13 and another is 11. My 13 year old boy already has a girlfriend but with no sexual activity. My 11 year old daughter found out a boy likes her so she’s been telling me stuff. They have been talking and she thinks he is a nice guy and he is truthful so im going to meet the guy and his parents and if they are fine with it I’ll let her date him for a week and then see if it works out.

I have a friend that is 13 and had her first kiss. She also has a nine yo sister and she kissed a boy too.

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Long distance relationships, a guide to long distant meetings, online dating tips long distance

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Long Distance Relationships, A Guide To Long Distant Meetings, online dating tips long distance.

Forget bungee jumping and sky diving, traveling long distances to meet your online dating partner is the most exciting holiday you could have! However, just like extreme sports, heading across the country or around the world to meet someone is a generally safe activity with a bad name due to a handful of unfortunate events. People jump out of planes all the time with no trouble, so long as they’ve checked their parachutes. Similarly you’ll have a safe, successful and exhilarating time if you read our dating tips for long distance meetings.

Long Distance Meeting Tips

  • Stay at a hotel
  • Taxi from the airport
  • Don’t disclose your location
  • Stay in touch with home
  • Read up on where you’re going
  • Trust your instincts
  • Enjoy yourself!

Forget bungee jumping and sky diving, traveling long distances to meet your online dating partner is the most exciting holiday you could have! However, just like extreme sports, heading across the country or around the world to meet someone is a generally safe activity with a bad name due to a handful of unfortunate events. People jump out of planes all the time with no trouble, so long as they’ve checked their parachutes. Similarly you’ll have a safe, successful and exhilarating time if you read our dating tips for long distance meetings.

Stay at a hotel when first visiting someone you’ve met through an online dating service, do not stay at the other person’s home. If you can’t afford a hotel, don’t go. Safe dating is successful dating, don’t rush things.

Always take a taxi to and from the airport. Wanting to see the other person as soon as you get off the plane is natural but keep your safety in mind. Meet them at the airport by all means but do not get into a private vehicle with them or let them transport your luggage in a private vehicle.

Keep the name and exact location of your hotel to yourself until you are completely sure of the other person’s intentions. Arrange public meeting places until you’re comfortable in each other’s company.

Before departing give your friends and family a detailed itinerary and the contact details of both your hotel and the other person. Stay in constant touch with people back home through emails and phone calls. Make sure the other person is aware that friends and family know where you are, what you’re doing and when you plan to return.

Research where you’re going and familiarize yourself with local customs, traditions and dangers. You are, of course, expecting a guided tour but collecting some useful knowledge will show not only that you’re interested but that you’re sensible and well prepared. Always take out comprehensive travel insurance and travel with reputable companies.

Long distance and overseas travel can be exciting, confronting and confounding but there’s a difference between getting outside your comfort zone and being uncomfortable. Always trust your instincts and act responsibly.

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